Yu-Gi-Oh! An Abridged Christmas Story Series
by Aquailita
Summary: Our favorite panda goes on a quest to earn the Millenium Item Christmas present of his dreams! But that's not all! There's also a lamp, tongues stuck to poles, fuuuuudgeeeee, and a crummy commercial! Yup! It's the cast of Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series living the movie "A Christmas Story"! A random idea that is too awesome to be out of season! Summary is fail! Just read and enjoy!
1. The holy grail of Christmas gifts

**SO!  
The plot bunnies gave me a little pre-final prezzie!**

**I was in Spanish on Friday doing some review thing and we went over this story about this Santa at a mall. That made me think of A Christmas Story with Randy's "I CAN'T PUT MY ARMS DOWN!" And then DUN DUN DUN _DUUUUUUN_! This idea was randomly born! It started out with Mokuba being Randy.**

_**YUGIOH IN A CHRISTMAS STORY!**_

**You're welcome.**

**I have literally every place filled, so sorry if you just suddenly planned to give me a character casting suggie. Oh well.**  
**I'll do this in little short-ish sections, based off the different major general scenes in the movie, such as Flick getting stuck, and the lamp incident(s).  
Italics are "Ralphie" narrating.  
This chapter is short on purpose.  
"YOU MADE THIS CHAPTER SHORT... ON _PURPOSE_!"  
I did.**

**Oh I almost forgot! It's abridged. **  
**Everything abridged! From random Duel Monsters names to pandas to "Shut up Mokuba!" Hope you like. I casted the YGOTAS characters _very_ carefully.**

**Anyway...**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, the movie "A Christmas Story", any of the characters/actors or script, and I also don't own Pokemon or anything else mentioned in here. I also don't own the cover._

**R&R!**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Scene 1: The Holy Grail of Christmas Gifts

_Wow, there it is. The holy grail of Christmas gifts._

_The Millenium Puzzle, once owned by the Pharaoh Atem 3000 years ago._

_And there he is. Pharaoh Atem himself. In his crazy hair, styled slightly crazier than mine even though our hair looked pretty much the same, rested a beautiful golden Egyptian Pharaoh headdress adorned with rubies and sapphires. Around his neck was a shiny gold-painted titanium replica of the legendary Millenium Puzzle, the most realistic replica I had ever laid eyes on. Of course it wasn't the real thing. For weeks, I had been scheming to get my mitts on that fearsome pyramid-shaped golden pendant. My fevered brain seethed with the effort of trying to come up with the infinitely subtle devices necessary to implant the Pharaoh's Millenium Puzzle indelibly into my guardians' subconscious._

•—•

One morning...

"Yugi! Mokuba! Down here in two minutes! And I mean two minutes!" my mother was screaming at us from downstairs.

I raced Mokuba to the drawers. I lost. But I didn't care. I just picked him up and moved him out of my way. "Come on, Yugi. I got here first!"

"Shut up, Mokuba." I got my clothes out and headed for my mother's room.

_I took a page I ripped out of a magazine of an advertisement for Millenium Items. Of course, the Puzzle was the main Item there. My mother, grabbing for her copy of Look magazine would find herself cleverly trapped into reading a Millenium Item sales pitch._

* * *

**You like so far? Tell me how I did! TELL ME!  
Random reviewer: Oh you'll find out! I'm about to summon it!  
Then go to that little box and summon it!**

**LOL**

**As you can probably already tell, Pharaoh Atem (not Yami; he comes later) is supposed to be the Red Ryder, Yugi is Ralphie, Yugi's practically-non-existant-mom is their mother, and for some reason Mokuba is Randy. Don't complain about it, the role was surprisingly fitting. And also you'll get an explanation in a later seen (hint, the one where they go to buy a tree).**

**If you guys want me to I'll put the full list of characters' casting, either for the whole story or chapter by chapter, at the beginning of the next chapter.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	2. The Classic Mother Millenium Item Block

**Here's another chapter for you guys because I feel like it.**

**You're welcome.**

**I have to go to bed cuz I have finals tomorrow, so I'm just putting this out there now, and editing it more later if need be. But for now this is all you're getting.**

**I have literally every place filled, so sorry if you just suddenly planned to give me a character casting suggie. Oh well.**  
**I'll do this in little short-ish sections, based off the different major general scenes in the movie, such as Flick getting stuck, and the lamp incident(s).  
Italics are "Ralphie" narrating.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, the movie "A Christmas Story", any of the characters/actors or script, and I also don't own Pokemon or anything else mentioned in here. I also don't own the cover._

**R&R!**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Scene 2: The Classic Mother Millenium Item Block

* * *

Downstairs at the breakfast table...

"They traded Bullfrog. I don't believe it." Grandpa was reading the newspaper while Mom finished cooking and served breakfast.

"What's that?" she asked him.

"Well, for Christ's sake, the Sox traded Bullfrog the only player they've got, for Dragomir. 'Blue Eyes' Dragomir, a utility infielder. Got a whole goddamned team of utility infielders."

"That's nice. Yugi, on the double!" I ran downstairs, along with Mokuba.

"Did you hear about this guy who swallowed a capsule monster?"

"Swallowed a capsule monster?"

"On a bet. Some youngster down in China."

"They write the silliest things in the newspapers."

"What do you mean, silly? That's real news. That's not like that politics crap or those movie posters or those stupid advertisements or those..." He switched topics before he went on another one of his listing rants. "What's the name of the Thief King's horse?"

"Aifeka," my mother said automatically. "It's name was Aifeka."

"How the hell did you know that?"

"Everybody knows that." She looked over his shoulder. "That's another one of your silly puzzles?"

"Yeah, it's another one of our silly puzzles. Could be worth 50,000¥."

"Wow!" Mom exclaimed. "That's almost five dollars! What kind is it this time?"

"Name the great characters in Egyptian history."

"Aifeka? The Thief King's horse?"

_Meanwhile, I struggled for exactly the right Millenium Item hint. It had to be firm, but subtle._

"Bakura says he saw some Chimeras near Fatty McBurgerton."

_They looked at me as if I had Scapegoats crawling out of my ears. I could tell that I was in danger of over-playing my hand. Casually, I switched tactics._

"Hey, Grandpa! I'll bet you'll never guess what I got you for Christmas."

"A new furnace."

"That's a good one, Grandpa."

My old man was one of the most feared furnace-fighters in Domino City.

"Hurry up, you're going to be late for school," Mom reminded us.

"Yeah. I'm running late already."

"You have a job, Dad?" Mom asked.

_Round one was over. Parents/guardians, one. Kids, zip. I could feel the Christmas noose beginning to tighten. Maybe what happened next was inevitable._

"Yugi, what would you like for Christmas?"

_Horrified, I heard myself blurt it out._

"I want the authentic legendary Egyptian Pharaoh Atem ancient Millenium Puzzle."

"No. You'll bring back the Shadow Games."

_Oh, no! It was the classic mother-Millenium Item block. "You'll bring back the Shadow Games." That deadly phrase uttered many times before by hundreds of mothers was insurmountable by any means known to kid-dom. But such was my mania, my desire for a Millenium Item, that I immediately began to set my monsters into attack mode._

"I was just kidding. Even though Marik is getting a Millenium Rod, and Bakura is getting a Millenium Ring. I'd just like some Star Chips."

_I couldn't believe my own ears. Star Chips? She'd never buy it._

"Millenium Items are dangerous. I don't want anyone playing Shadow Games. Mokuba, will you eat? There are starving orphans in China."

_Mothers know nothing about thieving Rare Hunters burrowing through the snow toward the kitchen where only you, and a super sexy alter ego, stand between your tiny huddled family and insensate evil._

_..._

They would all be like, under a table or something and they would be looking all helpless and stuff.

"Save us, Yugi! I just knew those Steves would be coming for us in the end!"

"Don't worry, Grandpa. As long as I got Yami... What've we got here, folks?"

"Well, we figure it's the Rare Hunters, Yugi."

"Well, just me and my super-sexy alter ego and my Millenium Puzzle. Lucky I've got an exceedingly high skills for playing card games. Well, I think I better have a look here."

I would switch out with my yami and he would take over. He would walk outside in his leather pants with that weird glowing eye on his head.

"Oh, no!"  
"It's Yami!"  
"Oh, no!"  
"Cheese it, Steves!"

He would start Mind Crushing people.

"Boom! Mind Crush! Boom! Mind Crush!"  
"There's another one! He's a dead-eye, ain't he? Boom! Mind Crush!"

"Okay, Pharaoh." Steve Lumis would say. "You win this time, but we will be back."

Then Steve Umbra would say, "Yeah! We'll be back! We'll be back to attack in our black Cadillac and there won't be no slack!"

"Let us go Steve, like ninjas."

The Steves would get in their motorcycle and Yami would Mind Crush one of the wheels.

"Sayonara, Steves! But if you do come back, you'll be chillin' in the Shadow Realm! And don't you forget it!"

"Well, son, you saved us!"

"We were goners for sure! And you saved us!"

"All in a day's work! Being sexy and dark are just my very easy jobs!"

* * *

**Thanks for reading! **

**Unlike what I usually do, finish stories on my iPod and email it to myself to upload each chapter daily, I'll just do this sporadically when I feel like it and when I"m in a good mood. Which means that I have no idea where I'll start and stop each one. Neither will you.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	3. I can't put my arms down!

**Here's another chapter for you guys because I'll be away from my computer for a week and I don't want to make you guys wait too long.**

**You're welcome.**

**I'll do this in little short-ish sections, based off the different major/general scenes in the movie, such as Flick getting stuck, and the lamp incident(s).  
Italics are "Ralphie" narrating. Those parts are Ralphie narrating in the movie, which I changed to fit Yugi. Everything else is just story description.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, the movie "A Christmas Story", any of the characters/actors or script, and I also don't own Pokémon or anything else mentioned in here. I also don't own the cover._

**R&R!**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Scene 3: I can't put my arms down!

* * *

Getting ready for school...

_It was like getting ready to go to an anime convention._

My mother wrapped Mokuba in so many layers of protective coat and hat and sweater and scarf and glove.

"Come on, Mom, we're going to be late!"

"Just wait, Yugi!"

_Mokuba looked like a Kuriboh about to explode._

He started waving his arms and shouting something. We couldn't hear because of his five bazillion layers of coat.

"What?"

More muffled words.

"What is it?"

He just kept waving his arms until she finally decided to remove his scarf to hear him.

The moment his mouth was uncovered, he shouted in a sort of scared voice. "I can't put my arms down!"

His arms were held out on either side of him, suspended in the air. She tried to flatten then down but they kept popping back up. She finally gave up. "Well, put your arms down when you get to school."

"No wait!"

"Shut up, Mokuba!"

She started rewrapping Mokuba as he cried and protested.

* * *

•—•

* * *

Walking to school...

"Hey, Bakura! Hey Marik! Wait up. Wait up!" I saw Bakura and Marik walking ahead, so I ran to catch up with them. "So what are you doing?"

"What the bugger does it look like I'm doing? Walking to school."

"Hey, listen, Limey Man," Marik was saying. "I asked my sister about sticking your tongue to metal poles in winter and she says it will freeze right to the pole just like I told you."

"That's a load of bollocks," Bakura replied. "What would your sister know about anything?"

"She knows because we were once at this train station and these two guys were betting something and the loser would have to touch his tongue to the metal track. And she said 'I predict that the guy over there will get his tongue stuck and someone will have to call the fire department to help him.' And then she called the fire department. And I was like 'Holy frig Ishizu! Can I try that! It looks so cool!' and she said 'No Marik.' And then we left."

"Doesn't prove a damn thing," I said. "You didn't stay to watch it happen."

"Yeah but she KNOWS!"

I suddenly heard Mokuba calling out to me from far behind us.

"Come on, guys, wait up! Come on, guys! Come on, guys, wait up!" I turned around briefly to see him running and trying to catch up.

"Hurry up!" I called out to him before turning around again.

Then I heard someone say, "Move it, kid!" Then I heard Mokuba calling out again. "Help! I can't get up! I can't get up! Help! I can't get out! Help me!" I turned around, and so did Marik and Bakura. Mokuba looked like a Squirttle lying on its back that couldn't get up. It was funny because he looked like a Squirttle the way his face was covered. "Help me!"

In turn, Marik, Bakura, and I all said,  
"Shut the frig up, Mokuba."  
"Shut the bugger up, Mokuba."  
"Shut the hell up, Mokuba."  
And we left him there.

I'm pretty sure someone helped him up at some point, because I saw him at school later that day.

* * *

•—•

* * *

At school, in the classroom...

This kid was handing out jackets. We all put them on as a joke. Then someone heard the teacher walk in.

"Miss Valentine!"

Our blond-haired and huge-boobed teacher walked in. "Alright, everyone. Take your seats, please."

We all scrambled to get into some random seat, organized by the color we were wearing and not by our real seats.

She hadn't noticed it yet. She turned to the blackboard and started writing the first topic of the day on it. "Good morning, class," she greeted.

"Good morning, Doctor Crowler!" we all shouted in reply.

We started giggling. She turned around and saw us with our Slifer Red, Ra Yellow, and Obelisk Blue jackets, Red sitting in the front and Blue sitting in the back. I was wearing Blue, of course. We laughed.

She facepalmed. She started walking around the room with her arm outstretched. Knowing what she wanted, we all took off our jackets and draped them over her arm. When all of our jackets were off, we went back to our original seats. She walked over to her desk and placed all the jackets folded up in one of her three gag drawers that she put all the stupid little gags we had in. Some things we had in the past were Winged Kuriboh hats we all wore, little toy motorcycles with cards drawn on them, playing cards with motorcycles drawn on them, a fake invisible gun, an invisible fake gun, and 3.14 slices of fake pie. She facepalmed again and mumbled, "Duel Monsters...at school...on an island... Crazy!"

She turned back to the blackboard. "Now class... Open your books to Page 69. And as you'll remember, Alexander Brisbane..."

* * *

**Thanks for reading! **

**Unlike what I usually do, finish stories on my iPod and email it to myself to upload each chapter daily, I'll just do this sporadically when I feel like it and when I'm in a good mood. Which means that I have no idea where I'll start and stop each one. Neither will you.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	4. Sthuck? Sthuck! STHUUUUCK!

**Apparently I have time for one more chapter before I leave!**

**You're welcome.**

**I'll do this in little short-ish sections, based off the different major/general scenes in the movie, such as Flick getting stuck (THIS CHAPTER!), and the lamp incident(s).  
Italics are "Ralphie" narrating. Those parts are Ralphie narrating in the movie, which I changed to fit Yugi. Everything else is just story description.**

**The cast so far:  
Yugi Muto **as** Ralphie Parker  
Pharaoh Atem **as** Red Ryder  
Mokuba Kaiba **as** Randy Parker  
Yugi's mom **as** Mrs. Parker  
Solomon Muto **as** Mr. Parker  
The Rare Hunters **as** the bandits  
Steve Lumis/Steve Umbra **as** Black-Eye Bart  
Ryou Bakura **as** Flick  
Marik Ishtar **as** Schwartz  
Mai Valentine **as** Ms. Shields**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, the movie "A Christmas Story", any of the characters/actors or script, and I also don't own Pokémon or anything else mentioned in here. I also don't own the cover._

**R&R!**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Scene 4: Sthuck? Sthuck! STHUUUUCK!

* * *

At recess...

We were outside in the snow.

Marik and Bakura were arguing, as always. This time, they were standing face to face, a metal light pole between them. A small group of about six or seven other students was gathered around them.

"Your story is a load of bollocks and are your sister's predictions!"

"Says who?"

"Says me. And my mummy."

"Well, sucks to your mummy. I dare you."

_Uh-oh. Marik had just dared Bakura to lick the pole. Everyone knows that Bakura would rarely reject a dare. It was practically against the law in his culture to be rude._

"Are you kidding? Stick my tongue to that buggering pole? That's bloody insane."

"That's 'cause you know it will stick!"

"You're full of it."

"Well, I double dare you!"

_Now it was serious. A double dare. What else was left but a "double dog-dare" and a "triple-dare"? And finally, the coup de grâce of all dares the sinister "triple dog-dare"!_

"No thanks," Bakura nervously declined. "Who knows how many germs are on that thing?"

"I triple dog-dare you! Oh no I di-int!"

_Marik created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the double-dog and triple dares and going right for the throat._

"All right, all right," Bakura shouted at last. He stepped into place and slowly started moving his face close to the pole.

Marik pushed him to make him mover faster. "Go on, Limey Man, do it!" Marik insisted.

"I'm going! Don't bloody rush me!" He stuck his tongue out of his mouth and reached out for the pole.

_Bakura's spine stiffened, and his lips trembled a bit, either from the cold or the anticipation. There was no going back now._

He moved another centimeter and...  
He touched it.  
He touched the pole with his tongue!

"SSthee? I did itth," he said calmly and triumphantly. He tried to move away, the dare completed, but couldn't. He started panicking. "Sthuck? Sthuck! Sthuck! Sthuck!" He started crying, and making little pained noises.

"Jeez!"  
"It really works!"  
"Look at him!"

He tried to detach his tongue but it didn't work. It was absolutely hilarious to watch. But no one let on that they thought that.

Suddenly the bell rang. Some of the other students started running back to school. Then Marik and I also started leaving.

"Weaw ah you going?!" I heard him say. I kept going. "Yugi, come back! Come back!" I turned around. His face was terrified and pleading. And kitten-cute. But panda-cute is better. "Don leawe me! Come back!"

I really would have prefered to leave him there, so I did. "But the bell rang!" I said as an excuse.

"What are we going to do?" Marik asked.

"Who cares? The bell rang!"

* * *

•—•

* * *

Back in the classroom...

"Where's Ryou?" Ms. Valentine asked.

"Who?" everyone asked back

"I mean... Where's Bakura?" No one answered. "Has anyone seen Bakura?"

_Bakura? Bakura who?_

"He was at recess, wasn't he? Yugi, do you know where Bakura is?"

With complete honesty, I asked, "Who's Bakura?"

She facepalmed and tried again. "I said has anyone seen Bakura?" Someone raised her hand. "Yes, Téa?" Téa silently pointed out the window. Ms. Valentine turned her head and looked. "What the... Oh my God!"

She ran over to the window and everyone, except for me and Marik, followed. We could see Bakura panicking and flailing around, his tongue stuck to the metal pole.

Ms. Valentine ran out the classroom and headed outside.

"Holy cow, it's the fire department!"  
"Wow, it's the cops!"

He was finally freed and everyone cheered.

He walked back into the classroom, led by the teacher to his seat. His face showed hurt and betrayal. He had some medical gauze thing in his mouth.

"Now, I know that some of you put Bakura up to this," Ms. Valentine said when he had taken his seat. "But, he has refused to say who." She walked casually over to where Marik, me, and Bakura sat behind each other. She looked at us while she talked. "He already gets bullied enough, and he's forgotten and deprived of screentime enough. Hasn't the poor British kid suffered enough? I hope that the guilt you feel is far worse than any banishment to the Shadow Realm. That's all I'm going to say about poor Bakura."

Marik raised his hand.

"Yes, Marik?"

"Uh... One, I don't feel bad at all. And two, who's Bakura?"

In the seat behind me, I heard Bakura facepalm, then facedesk.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! **

**Unlike what I usually do, finish stories on my iPod and email it to myself to upload each chapter daily, I'll just do this sporadically when I feel like it and when I'm in a good mood. Which means that I have no idea where I'll start and stop each one. Neither will you.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	5. Say 'Uncle'

**Guess what? I got sick-ish because of the dust where I am, so I'm back earlier than I should be.**

**So here's your chapter. I decided to skip the chapter with the Theme assignment for now, because I already had this scene done.**

**You're welcome.**

**I'll do this in little short-ish sections, based off the different major/general scenes in the movie, such as Flick getting stuck (THIS CHAPTER!), and the lamp incident(s).  
Italics are "Ralphie" narrating. Those parts are Ralphie narrating in the movie, which I changed to fit Yugi. Everything else is just story description.**

**The cast so far:  
Yugi Muto **as** Ralphie Parker  
Pharaoh Atem **as** Red Ryder  
Mokuba Kaiba **as** Randy Parker  
Yugi's mom **as** Mrs. Parker  
Solomon Muto **as** Mr. Parker  
The Rare Hunters **as** the bandits  
Steve Lumis/Steve Umbra **as** Black-Eye Bart  
Ryou Bakura **as** Flick  
Marik Ishtar **as** Schwartz  
Mai Valentine **as** Ms. Shields  
Tea Gardner **as** Esther Jane**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, the movie "A Christmas Story", any of the characters/actors or script, and I also don't own Pokémon or anything else mentioned in here. I also don't own the cover._

**R&R!**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Scene 6: Say Uncle...

* * *

After school...

We were walking home, taking a shortcut through an alley instead of walking all the way around a building.

"Oh my gosh, did you see how it stuck?" Marik said.

"Did it hurt, Bakura?" I asked.

"Nope!" he replied through that thing in his mouth. "Never felt a thing. It just caught me off guard."

"Bull crap!" Marik exclaimed. "You were totally crying and stuff!"

"I was not!"

"That's a load of bollocks!" Marik said in a mock British accent.

"Stop making fun of me!"

Suddenly, we heard an evil, dark, and accented laugh from behind the fence we were walking next to.

We screamed, recognizing the laugh.

From though a hole in the fence, we saw a head of fluffy white hair slowly come out.

Bakura was the first to react.  
"No not again!"  
Then Marik.  
"Oh my frig!"  
Then me.  
"Florence!"

_Florence! What a totally terrible name! Girly, yet still terrible. We were trapped. There he stood, in his blue and white striped winter jacket, between us and the alley. Florence, staring out at us with his red eyes. He had red eyes! So help me God, red eyes._

At some point, Mokuba had fallen down again behind us.

"Uh..." we all said.

He smirked at us and laughed. "Ryou," he said to Bakura.

"Y-y-yami..." he stuttered in reply.

"So... You little runts got anything for me today?" He cracked his knuckles and rubbed his hands together.

"No..." Bakura said bravely. "W-w-we don't..."

"What's that thing in your mouth? Aw did you get hurt? What did you do, stick your tongue to a metal pole?" he closed his eyes as he laughed at Bakura. We used this as a chance to escape.

But we didn't get far when...

"Not so fast, binky boys!"

A figure came out of seemingly nowhere.

_Melvin Blishtar, Florence's evil and hug-prone sideckick/friend. Mean. Evil. Crazy hairstyle! He had on a black denim jacket. He licked his lips with his creepy tongue. That weird eye thing on his forehead glowed._

_Mokuba lay there like a downed Blubasaur. It was his only defense._

We all screamed as Melvin growled at us. We ran backwards, straight into Florence's waiting arms. We panicked and tried to run around and away from him. Me and Marik escaped and went over to help Mokuba up.

But Bakura...

Melvin had him! One arm held Bakura by the waist, the other hand held his wrist tightly. He leaned close and whispered something in his ear. I didn't hear what he said, but I could hear Bakura's reply very clearly.

"No! No deathshipping! I don't like you! Leave me alone! Go away!" He broke free from Melvin, but ran straight into Florence.

Florence grabbed Bakura's arm and held it behind his back, and held Bakura in a headlock with his free arm.

"Say 'uncle'," Florence ordered.

He twisted the arm a bit.

"Uncle!" Bakura cried out in pain and fear.

"Louder!" He did it again.

_In our world, you were either a Yami or a Hikari. A bully or a victim. The bad guys or the good guys._

After Bakura had said 'Uncle' a few more times, Florence flung him to the ground. Bakura scrambled to his feet and ran over to us. By that time I had helped Mokuba get up.

"All right," Florence said. "Who's next?"

Melvin stuck his tongue out at us and rawred very scarily.

We screamed in terror and ran away as fast as we could.

Mokuba was left behind, running as fast as his short legs would carry him as he tried to catch up.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! **

**Note: I was going to make Ryou say "mummy", but I was laughing to hard to make myself do it. Sorry tho! LOVE BRITISH BAKU AND RY RY! (my Limey Kitty and my British Cream Puff!)**

**Unlike what I usually do, finish stories on my iPod and email it to myself to upload each chapter daily, I'll just do this sporadically when I feel like it and when I'm in a good mood. Which means that I have no idea where I'll start and stop each one. Neither will you.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	6. I want you to write a theme

**SORRY FOR SUCH A LONG WAIT! But I'm back! I know it's been over three months, but not really had time or ideas.  
I know winter is long over, but as the description says, this is too superspecialawesome to be out of season!**

**This chapter will be VERY short.  
****I'm doing the 5th scene here, the one that I skipped with the theme assignment.**

**You're welcome.**

**I'll do this in little short-ish sections, based off the different major/general scenes in the movie, such as Flick getting stuck, and the lamp incident(s).  
Italics are "Ralphie" narrating. Those parts are Ralphie narrating in the movie, which I changed to fit Yugi. Everything else is just story description.**

**The cast so far:  
Yugi Muto **as** Ralphie Parker  
**(******Millenium Puzzle **as****** the BB-Gun**)**  
Pharaoh Atem **as** Red Ryder****  
Mokuba Kaiba **as** Randy Parker  
Yugi's mom **as** Mrs. Parker  
Solomon Muto **as** Mr. Parker  
The Rare Hunters **as** the bandits  
Steve Lumis/Steve Umbra **as** Black-Eye Bart  
Ryou Bakura **as** Flick  
Marik Ishtar **as** Schwartz  
Mai Valentine **as** Ms. Shields  
Tea Gardner **as** Esther Jane  
Florence Bakura **as** Scut Farcus  
Melvin "Blishtar" **as **Grover Dill**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, the movie "A Christmas Story", any of the characters/actors or script, and I also don't own Pokémon or anything else mentioned in here. I also don't own the cover._

**R&R!**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Scene 5: I Want You To Write A Theme

* * *

"Now, boys and girls," Ms Valentine said, "I'm going to give you an assignment. I want you to write..." We all held our breaths. "...a theme."

The entire class, including me and even Bakura, groaned.

But then she read the theme...

"What I want for Christmas."

_The Shadows lifted._

As she wrote the details of it on the board and explained it more, I zoned out.

"And I want it handed in tomorrow morning..."

_I saw a faint gleam of light at the other end of the black cave of doom, a cave that was surprisingly similar to the one we had been trapped inside in Duelist Kingdom. I knew that when Miss Valentine read my magnificently super special awesome theme that she would sympathize with my plight and everything would work out, somehow._

* * *

**Thanks for reading! **

******I'll try not to abandon this for so long again! But it's hard with school, other stories, procrastination, and writer's block. I'll try to think of something awesome for next chapter!  
Chapters should come out much more often now, because I have finally remembered the story and continued editing it. So I should be able to give you more chapters more often**.

**Unlike what I usually do, finish stories on my iPod and email it to myself to upload each chapter daily, I'll just do this sporadically when I feel like it and when I'm in a good mood. Which means that I have no idea where I'll start and stop each one. Neither will you.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	7. They're very good for Christmas

**You get TWO chapters today! What a miracle!  
It's only because this one is also short.  
I uploaded the previous chapter in a bit of an impulse rush, so I'm going back to edit it. Sorry about that.**

**You're welcome.**

**I'll do this in little short-ish sections, based off the different major/general scenes in the movie, such as Flick getting stuck, and the lamp incident(s).  
Italics are "Ralphie" narrating. Those parts are Ralphie narrating in the movie, which I changed to fit Yugi. Everything else is just story description.**

**The cast so far:  
Yugi Muto **as** Ralphie Parker  
**(******Millenium Puzzle **as****** the BB-Gun**)**  
Pharaoh Atem **as** Red Ryder****  
Mokuba Kaiba **as** Randy Parker  
Yugi's mom **as** Mrs. Parker  
Solomon Muto **as** Mr. Parker  
The Rare Hunters **as** the bandits  
Steve Lumis/Steve Umbra **as** Black-Eye Bart  
Ryou Bakura **as** Flick  
Marik Ishtar **as** Schwartz  
Mai Valentine **as** Ms. Shields  
Tea Gardner **as** Esther Jane  
Florence Bakura **as** Scut Farcus  
Melvin "Blishtar" **as **Grover Dill**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, the movie "A Christmas Story", any of the characters/actors or script, and I also don't own Pokémon or anything else mentioned in here. I also don't own the cover._

**R&R!**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Scene 7: They're Very Good For Christmas

* * *

Mokuba and I had finally reached our block, and were running down it.

_In the jungles of teen-dom, the mind switches gears rapidly._

I stopped to check the mailbox.

_Weeks ago, I had sent away for my Little Jaden Kuriboh Secret Society decoder pen._

The mailbox was empty. "It took me only one night to get to Duelist Kingdom from here, and it takes them freaking weeks to ship a simple decoder set thing from within the country," I said aloud. "What sense does that make?!"

_No matter. Today I had serious work to do._

Back home...

I started working on my essay. I read aloud as I wrote.

"What I want for Christmas." I wrote. "What I want is a Pharaoh Atem Millenium Puzzle with ancient Shadow Powers and this thingy that makes you good at card games."

"This essay is going to be so super-special awesome!"

I kept writing. "I think that everybody should have a Millenium Item. They're very good for Christmas. I don't think that a motorcycle is a very good Christmas present."

_Oh, rarely had the words poured from my penny pencil with such feverish fluidity._

* * *

**Thanks for reading! **

**This is probably the only time I'll do 2 chapters a day, UNLESS two consecutive scenes are really short and I can edit them both quickly, like this one and the last one.**

**Unlike what I usually do, finish stories on my iPod and email it to myself to upload each chapter daily, I'll just do this sporadically when I feel like it and when I'm in a good mood. Which means that I have no idea where I'll start and stop each one. Neither will you.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	8. I won! I won!

**Here's your chapter! This chapter is somewhat short, but not THAT short. Not compared to the last two. Remember, this goes by scenes. Not scenes as in the scenes you go to in scene selection, scenes as in different events in the movie.  
Some of those little parts are short, some are long. There will be A LOT of chapters in this story.**

**You're welcome.**

**I'll do this in little short-ish sections, based off the different major/general scenes in the movie, such as Flick getting stuck, and the lamp incident(s).  
Italics are "Ralphie" narrating. Those parts are Ralphie narrating in the movie, which I changed to fit Yugi. Everything else is just story description.**

**The cast so far:  
Yugi Muto **as** Ralphie Parker  
**(******Millenium Puzzle **as****** the BB-Gun**)**  
Pharaoh Atem **as** Red Ryder****  
Mokuba Kaiba **as** Randy Parker  
Yugi's mom **as** Mrs. Parker  
Solomon Muto **as** Mr. Parker  
The Rare Hunters **as** the bandits  
Steve Lumis/Steve Umbra **as** Black-Eye Bart  
Ryou Bakura **as** Flick  
Marik Ishtar **as** Schwartz  
Mai Valentine **as** Ms. Shields  
Tea Gardner **as** Esther Jane  
Florence Bakura **as** Scut Farcus  
Melvin "Blishtar" **as **Grover Dill  
Little Jaden "Kuriboh" Yuki **as** Little Orphan Annie**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, the movie "A Christmas Story", any of the characters/actors or script, and I also don't own Pokémon or anything else mentioned in here. I also don't own the cover._

**R&R!**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Scene 8: I Won! I Won!

* * *

Moments later...

"I've won! I've won!" Grandpa shouted from outside. Squealing and shouting could be heard as he tried to enter the house alone.

I looked out the window and watched as the source of the squealing tried to follow Grandpa inside.

_The Devlin fangirls. Our super-sexy neighbors, the Devlins, had at least 785 annoying fangirls. And despite the Devlin's best efforts to teach them loyalty, they always bothered the Mutos, the Ishtars, and the Bakuras._

"I won! I won!"

I stayed upstairs the whole time while this was happening, but luckily I still remember it.

"What?" Mom asked him.

"Whoa nelly! I won! I won!"

"Hey, look at that." Grandpa waved a piece of paper in Mom's face. "Look at that! A Tokyo Union telegram.

"Who uses telegrams anymore?"

"Tonight, he's coming tonight. Tonight. Hot damn, tonight!"

"What does this mean here?" Mom asked, pointing to something on the telegram.

"It means it's coming tonight!" Grandpa replied. "I called Arthur Hawkins at the freight depot. He said the telegram was late, the prize was already there he was going to send it on tonight." As he talked, he pushed the fangirls out the door. "You know, maybe it'll be one of those Spanish adobe houses down in Coral..." He pushed the last fangirl out of the house, but her hair got caught in the door. "Serves you right, you smelly fangirls with your nosebleeds and your fangasms and your glomping and your cosplays and your fanfictions and your fainting and your fanart and your rated M fanfictions and your fangirl battles and your hyperventalating and your shipping AMVs and your yaoi and your Yugioh abridged and your references and your..."

"Dad..." Mom said to snap him out of his state. He was staring at the door but suddenly refocused.

"Oh, right. Or it could be a dueling arena. A guy down in Terre Haute won a dueling arena."

"How are they going to deliver a dueling arena here tonight?"

"They could send the deed, for cripesake. I mean I didn't expect they were going to send the whole damn dueling arena."

"Yeah, well. How about eating? I'm starving to death."

* * *

**Thanks for reading! **

******Hope you're enjoying this story, no matter the season or weather! Any time is a good time for Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series!**

**Unlike what I usually do, finish stories on my iPod and email it to myself to upload each chapter daily, I'll just do this sporadically when I feel like it and when I'm in a good mood. Which means that I have no idea where I'll start and stop each one. Neither will you.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	9. How The Piggies Eat

**Here's your chapter!  
This another short chapter. Next chapter will be longer. **

**Remember, this goes by scenes. Not scenes as in the scenes you go to in scene selection, scenes as in different events in the movie.  
Some of those little parts are short, some are long. There will be A LOT of chapters in this story.**

**You're welcome.**

**I'll do this in little short-ish sections, based off the different major/general scenes in the movie, such as Flick getting stuck, and the lamp incident(s).  
Italics are "Ralphie" narrating. Those parts are Ralphie narrating in the movie, which I changed to fit Yugi. Everything else is just story description.**

**The cast so far:  
Yugi Muto **as** Ralphie Parker  
**(******Millenium Puzzle **as****** the BB-Gun**)**  
Pharaoh Atem **as** Red Ryder****  
Mokuba Kaiba **as** Randy Parker  
Yugi's mom **as** Mrs. Parker  
Solomon Muto **as** Mr. Parker  
The Rare Hunters **as** the bandits  
Steve Lumis/Steve Umbra **as** Black-Eye Bart  
Ryou Bakura **as** Flick  
Marik Ishtar **as** Schwartz  
Mai Valentine **as** Ms. Shields  
Tea Gardner **as** Esther Jane  
Florence Bakura **as** Scut Farcus  
Melvin "Blishtar" **as **Grover Dill  
Little Jaden "Kuriboh" Yuki **as** Little Orphan Annie  
The Devlins **as** the Bumpuses  
Duke Devlin's fangirls **as** the Bumpus hounds**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, the movie "A Christmas Story", any of the characters/actors or script, and I also don't own Pokémon or anything else mentioned in here. I also don't own the cover._

**R&R!**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Scene 9: How The Piggies Eat

* * *

At the dinner table...

"Getting rich is hard work, kid," Grandpa said to Mokuba, who was pushing his food around with his fork. "Come on. Eat up before I die. Which might just happen first, either way."

_Every family has a kid who won't eat. Mokuba had not eaten voluntarily in over three years that wasn't junkfood or sweets._

"Oh, Mokuba, don't play with your food, eat it! Fat people in America would be happy to have that."

"Can I have some more bamboo please?" I asked someone.

"Stop playing with your food, or I'll give you something to cry about." Grandpa warned him. "You better stop fooling around with it and eat it or you'll be sorry."

"Can I please have some more?" I asked again.

_My mother had not had a hot meal for herself in 10 years._

"Meatloaf, meatloaf," Mokuba grumbled. "Double beetloaf. I hate meatloaf."

"All right. I'll get that kid to eat. Where's my screwdriver and plumber's helper? I'll open up his mouth and I'll shove it in."

_My mother was more subtle._

"How do the little Pokémon go?" she asked Mokuba playfully.

He smiled and blurted out, "Charmander char!"

"That's right. Charmander char. Now, show me how the Charmanders eat. This is your trough." She slid the plate closer to him. "Show me how the Charmanders eat. Be a good boy. Show Mommy how the Charmanders eat."

Mokuba started shoving his face into the plate and eating like a Charmander and making Charmander noises. He looked up occasionally and laughed. He had food all over his face. It was a mess.

"Oh, my. Mommy's little Pokémon!" Mom laughed delightedly.

This kept up for a few more minutes until Mokuba had eaten everything. But more food went on his face than down his throat.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! **

******Hope you're enjoying this story, no matter the season or weather! Any time is a good time for Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series!**

**Unlike what I usually do, finish stories on my iPod and email it to myself to upload each chapter daily, I'll just do this sporadically when I feel like it and when I'm in a good mood. Which means that I have no idea where I'll start and stop each one. Neither will you.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	10. This is a lamp!

**Here's your chapter!  
LOLZ THIS CHAPTER!**

**Remember, this goes by scenes. Not scenes as in the scenes you go to in scene selection, scenes as in different events in the movie.  
Some of those little parts are short, some are long. There will be A LOT of chapters in this story.**

**You're welcome.**

**I'll do this in little short-ish sections, based off the different major/general scenes in the movie, such as Flick getting stuck, and the lamp incident(s).  
Italics are "Ralphie" narrating. Those parts are Ralphie narrating in the movie, which I changed to fit Yugi. Everything else is just story description.**

**The cast so far:  
Yugi Muto **as** Ralphie Parker  
**(******Millenium Puzzle **as****** the BB-Gun**)**  
Pharaoh Atem **as** Red Ryder****  
Mokuba Kaiba **as** Randy Parker  
Yugi's mom **as** Mrs. Parker  
Solomon Muto **as** Mr. Parker  
The Rare Hunters **as** the bandits  
Steve Lumis/Steve Umbra **as** Black-Eye Bart  
Ryou Bakura **as** Flick  
Marik Ishtar **as** Schwartz  
Mai Valentine **as** Ms. Shields  
Tea Gardner **as** Esther Jane  
Florence Bakura **as** Scut Farcus  
Melvin "Blishtar" **as **Grover Dill  
Little Jaden "Kuriboh" Yuki **as** Little Orphan Annie  
The Devlins **as** the Bumpuses  
Duke Devlin's fangirls **as** the Bumpus hounds**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Duel Monsters, the movie "A Christmas Story", any of the characters/actors or script, and I also don't own Pokémon or anything else mentioned in here. I also don't own the cover._

**R&R!**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Scene 10: This is a lamp!

* * *

Then the doorbell rang...

"It's here!" Grandpa shouted. He ran to the door and opened it. There was a delivery guy there with weird hair.

"Attention, duelist! Are you Muto?" the guy asked. Grandpa nodded. "All right, my hair says to sign here." The delivery guy gave him the clipboard to sign.

"Yeah. Well, what is it?" Grandpa asked.

"My hair doesn't know," the delivery guy replied. "I just deliver it."

"What's in it? Here. Bring it in." More delivery guys started bringing a huge crate inside.

"Attention, duelists!" one of them said. "My mullet is helping to bring in this crate. Where do you want it?"

"Okay, boys. Haul that on in here. Move your tails. Bring it right on in. Right here. Bring it ahead. Straight ahead. That's right. Right. Here, bring it right in, fellas. That's it. Here we go. A little more. Little more. That's it. Watch the lady." They finally brought it to the middle of the living room, where there was space. "Thanks a lot, guys. Merry Christmas."

"Attention, duelists! My hair says 'you're welcome'."  
"Attention, duelists! My mullet wants to wish you a Merry Christmas as well!"

They left.

"Get the crowbar and a hammer, Yugi," Grandpa instructed me. "Go on."

"Deh-li-cah-teh," Grandpa said, reading the red words on top of the crate. "Must be French."

"Dad, I think that says 'fragile'."

"I'm old. Don't complain because I don't know how to read!" I brought the tools over. "Oh, yeah. Here we go." He took them and started trying to pry open the crate.

"They did a job on this, you know? No, here, Yugi, hold this."

He finally got it open. There was a bunch of styrofoam packing peanuts in the crate between us and whatever was in there. "Whoa, Nelly! There could be anything in there! Jesus!"

"Maybe they forgot," Mom said.

"It's in there!" Grandpa insisted. "It's gotta be in there." He dug through the packing stuff. It flew like everywhere and stuff. Some of it got in my hair, which would be a bitch to pick out later. "Would you look at that?"

"What?" Mom asked

"Would you look at that?" He pulled something out.

"What is it?" Mom's face was horrified and disgusted.

He held the thingy on one of the edges of the box. "It's a statue!"

"But what is it?" I think I knew what it was...

"Well, it's the Black Luster Soldier! You know, like in a statue."

"Statue?"

"Yeah, statue! Yeah, statue!"

"Yugi!" My mother was trying to insinuate herself between us and the statue.

"Holy smoke, would you... Do you know what this is?" Grandpa brought out one more part. "This is a lamp!" He smiled wide as he placed the lamp cover on top.

_It was indeed a lamp._

"Isn't that great? What a great lamp!"

"Well I don't know..." Obviously, Mom hated it.

"Here, hold it. Hold it. Here, go on." _The old man's eyes boggled overcome by art._ "I know just the place for it. Right in the middle of our front room window!"

"Jesus, God. Dad?"

"No. It's all right. Let's see..." He started messing around with the huge mess of plugs and sockets by the front window. "This goes to the radio and this goes to the... Well, it's just one too many. Well, let's see."

_The snap of a few sparks, a quick whiff of ozone, and the lamp blazed forth in unparalleled glory._

"Look at that! Will you look at that?" Grandpa started praising how his lamp looked. "Isn't that glorious? It's indescribably beautiful. It reminds me of the Fourth of July! Turn off all the lights. I wanna see what it looks like from the street. I'll go get the dining room light."

"Couldn't we talk this over?" Mom asked desperately.

He ran outside and started telling Mom where to move the lamp. "Move it a little bit to the right. A little that way. Just a little... More to the right. Yeah. More. That's it. No, stop! Right there. That's wonderful."

One of our neighbors walked up to him. "Muto, what is that?" he asked with an accent that could have been from Queens or Brooklyn. They're pretty much the same, so it doesn't really matter where.

"Don't bother me now you young whippersnapper! Can't you see I'm busy?"

"Yeah, but what is that?"

"It's a major award."

"A major award? Nyeh, I wouldn't have known that. It looks like a Black Luster Soldier lamp."

"It _is_ a lamp, you young-un. But it's a major award. I won it."

"Holy Nyeh, you say you won it?"

"Yeah. Mind power, Wheeler. Mind power."

_The entire neighborhood was turned on._

"You should see what it looks like from out here!" Grandpa shouted at us.

_It could be seen up and down the street. The symbol of the old man's victory._

"Yeah, he won that," one neighbor said to another. "It's a major award."

"Isn't it about time for somebody's favorite radio program?" Mom said, trying to distract us.

My eyes lit up. "Yeah!" I said, running over to the radio.

_Holy smokes, it was 6:45. Only one thing that could have dragged me away from the soft glow of electric duel monster sex gleaming in the window._

["Kids, it's Little Jaden Kuriboh Yuki time. Brought to you by 5D's."]

_I could still taste the scent of what a motorcycle looked like, and hear the smell of what a card game felt like._*****

As Grandpa walked back in, Mom turned the light off. "Hey, you turned the light off!"

* * *

***Lolz you're probably REALLY confused about the Jaden radio program thing, right? Lolz so am I. I have absolutely no idea what's what in that situations stuffs! LOL WHO EVEN CARES!  
(But I'm pretty sure that Jaden is supposed to be Annie, and 5D's is supposed to be Ovaltine.)**

**Thanks for reading!**

******Hope you're enjoying this story, no matter the season or weather! Any time is a good time for Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series!**

**Unlike what I usually do, finish stories on my iPod and email it to myself to upload each chapter daily, I'll just do this sporadically when I feel like it and when I'm in a good mood. Which means that I have no idea where I'll start and stop each one. Neither will you.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	11. Don't want to waste electricity

**Here's your chapter!  
I decided to do two for today because this chapter is short. _VERY_ short.**

**Remember, this goes by scenes. Not scenes as in the scenes you go to in scene selection, scenes as in different events in the movie.  
Some of those little parts are short, some are long. There will be A LOT of chapters in this story.**

**I'll do this in little short-ish sections, based off the different major/general scenes in the movie, such as Flick getting stuck, and the lamp incident(s).  
Italics are "Ralphie" narrating. Those parts are Ralphie narrating in the movie, which I changed to fit Yugi. Everything else is just story description.**

**The cast so far:  
Yugi Muto **as** Ralphie Parker  
**(******Millenium Puzzle **as****** the BB-Gun**)**  
Pharaoh Atem **as** Red Ryder****  
Mokuba Kaiba **as** Randy Parker  
Yugi's mom **as** Mrs. Parker  
Solomon Muto **as** Mr. Parker  
The Rare Hunters **as** the bandits  
Steve Lumis/Steve Umbra **as** Black-Eye Bart  
Ryou Bakura **as** Flick  
Marik Ishtar **as** Schwartz  
Mai Valentine **as** Ms. Shields  
Tea Gardner **as** Esther Jane  
Florence Bakura **as** Scut Farcus  
Melvin "Blishtar" **as **Grover Dill  
Little Jaden "Kuriboh" Yuki **as** Little Orphan Annie  
The Devlins **as** the Bumpuses  
Duke Devlin's fangirls **as** the Bumpus hounds  
Hair Guy **as** the delivery guy  
Mullet Guy **as** a delivery guy  
**(**Black Luster Soldier **as** the lamp**)

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Duel Monsters, the movie "A Christmas Story", any of the characters/actors or script, and I also don't own Pokémon or anything else mentioned in here. I also don't own the cover._

**R&R!**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Scene 11: Don't want to waste electricity

* * *

Later that night...

"Come on, you guys. Get in the car. Get in the car. If we don't hurry we're going to miss all the good trees!"

_My mother was about to make another brilliant maneuver in the legendary battle of the lamp. The epic struggle which followed lives in the folklore of Domino City to this very day._

She turned off the Black Luster Soldier lamp before leaving.

"Don't want to waste electricity," she said to Grandpa as she walked out the door.

_"Don't want to waste electricity." Meanwhile, practically every other light in the house was on._

"Come on, Yugi. Get in the car."

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**

******Hope you're enjoying this story, no matter the season or weather! Any time is a good time for Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series!**

**Unlike what I usually do, finish stories on my iPod and email it to myself to upload each chapter daily/weekly, I'll just do this sporadically when I feel like it and when I'm in a good mood. Which means that I have no idea where I'll start and stop or publish each one. Neither will you.  
However, I'll TRY to do it weekly.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	12. This here is a tree!

**Here's your chapter!  
Gmail was being stupid so I couldn't even copy this part to paste it here. But then I found a way around Gmail's bitchyness and so here we are (^_^)  
Human: 1; Technology: 0**

**Remember, this goes by scenes. Not scenes as in the scenes you go to in scene selection, scenes as in different events in the movie.  
Some of those little parts are short, some are long. There will be A LOT of chapters in this story.  
I suggest (and should have done this several chapters ago) that you watch the movie and/or look up the transcript so you know where I'm getting all of these jokes from and can see what I've changed and kept. It's also a lot funnier if you actually know the movie.**

**I'll do this in little short-ish sections, based off the different major/general scenes in the movie, such as Flick getting stuck, and the lamp incident(s).  
Italics are "Ralphie" narrating. Those parts are Ralphie narrating in the movie, which I changed to fit Yugi. Everything else is just story description.  
The cast list contains EVERY character, minor or not. Even the ones only briefly mentioned. Even the inanimate objects (as you can see).**

**The cast so far:  
Yugi Muto **as** Ralphie Parker  
**(******Millenium Puzzle **as****** the BB-Gun**)**  
Pharaoh Atem **as** Red Ryder****  
Mokuba Kaiba **as** Randy Parker  
Yugi's mom **as** Mrs. Parker  
Solomon Muto **as** Mr. Parker  
The Rare Hunters **as** the bandits  
Steve Lumis/Steve Umbra **as** Black-Eye Bart  
Ryou Bakura **as** Flick  
Marik Ishtar **as** Schwartz  
Mai Valentine **as** Ms. Shields  
Tea Gardner **as** Esther Jane  
Florence Bakura **as** Scut Farcus  
Melvin "Blishtar" **as **Grover Dill  
Little Jaden "Kuriboh" Yuki **as** Little Orphan Annie  
**(**YGO5D's **as** Ovaltine**)**  
The Devlins **as** the Bumpuses  
Duke Devlin's fangirls **as** the Bumpus hounds  
Hair Guy **as** the delivery guy  
Mullet Guy **as** a delivery guy  
**(**Black Luster Soldier **as** the lamp**)

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Duel Monsters, the movie "A Christmas Story", any of the characters/actors or script, and I also don't own Pokémon or anything else mentioned in here. I also don't own the story cover._

**R&R!**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Scene 12: This Here Is A Tree

* * *

At the tree lot...

We drove up and all exited the car. We walked into the Christmas Tree tree lot.

We were approached and greeted by the owner of the lot, Seto Kaiba.

He looked at Mokuba. "Hey there, Moky," Kaiba said to him. "How do you like your new family?"

"Very much, Seto," Mokuba replied in an emotionless tone, and with an emotionless face.

"Glad I gave you up for adoption, right?"

"Yes, Seto. These people are way better than you!"

"Yeah yeah yeah happy Hanukah." Kaiba turned away from Mokuba and looked at my mother and grandpa. "So anyway, you folks looking for a tree? We've got like 1,000 trees. This is _the_ Christmas tree emporium of the entire Domino City. Now," he started walking away, heading over to the trees. We followed. He put a hand on a particular tree. "You're never going to ever find a better tree than this tree here. This tree right here is built to last. No needles coming off of this tree." He stomped it on the ground. When he lifted it up, underneath it was a ring of green needles that stood out clearly against the snow. "Okay." He tossed the tree away. "Now here's a tree." He picked up another one. "This here is a tree." He stomped it on the ground, but this time no needles fell off.

"That's a little skimpy in the front," Mom commented.

"Well, you just put it in the corner," Grandpa countered.

"Haven't you got a big tree?" Mom asked Kaiba.

"Hell, this isn't a tree." He tossed it away and went over to another one that was bigger. "Now here's a tree. This here is a tree."

"Wait 'till the fangirls see that one," Grandpa said.

"Don't you think it's a little large?" my mother asked. And she had just asked if they had a bigger tree. Good job, Mom.

"Listen, Christmas only comes once a year. Why not? I'm getting older every second, so this just might be my last. I want a big tree. When Christmas is over, plant the tree in the back yard and burry me under it." As Mom put a hand to her forehead, Grandpa turned to Kaiba. "How much?"

"$10,000," Kaiba replied. "But since you seem to be a man who knows his trees, I'll knock off a dollar. That's 9,999 dollars."

"No no no, don't trouble yourself with lowering the price..."

"Tell you what, I'll even knock off a hundred or two yen. Now the price is 9,998 dollars and 99 cents*****."

"This isn't one of those trees that all the needles falls off, is it?" Mom asked.

"No, that's them balsams," Kaiba explained.

_The old man loved bargaining as much as an Arab trader and he was twice as shrewd. And as a businessman himself, he knew how to do it right._

"You know, Mako Sunami just bought one of those brand new green plastic trees," Grandpa said aside to my mother, whispering, but loud enough to be heard by Kaiba. "Blasted thing looks like it was made out of green pipe cleaners."

"This is a very nice tree," my mother said, only half playing along.

"I'll throw in some rope and tie it to your car for you," Kaiba blurted out, not wanting to lose a customer.

"You got a deal!"

"Deal!" They shook on it.

* * *

***This conversion is NOT accurate in any way. 100Y does NOT equal 1 US cent. In case you haven't watched Season 0 Abridged and/or didn't know, it's merely a YGOTAS joke.**

**Thanks for reading!**

******Hope you're enjoying this story, no matter the season or weather! Any time is a good time for Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series!**

**Unlike what I usually do, finish stories on my iPod and email it to myself to upload each chapter daily/weekly, I'll just do this sporadically when I feel like it and when I'm in a good mood. Which means that I have no idea where I'll start and stop or publish each one. Neither will you.  
However, I'll TRY to do it weekly.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	13. OOOOHHHH FUUUUDDDDGGGGEEEE!

**Here's your chapter, the next day because I felt like it.  
Now that I know how to screw Gmail's lag/bug/fail rules, chapters will be maybe uploaded more regularly (than they were last week).**

**Remember, this goes by scenes. Not scenes as in the scenes you go to in scene selection, scenes as in different events in the movie.  
Some of those little parts are short, some are long. There will be A LOT of chapters in this story.  
I suggest that you watch the movie and/or look up the transcript so you know where I'm getting all of these jokes from and can see what I've changed and kept.**

**I'll do this in little short-ish sections, based off the different major/general scenes in the movie, such as Flick getting stuck, and the lamp incident(s).  
Italics are "Ralphie" narrating. Those parts are Ralphie narrating in the movie, which I changed to fit Yugi and the abridged-verse. Everything else is just story description.  
The cast list contains EVERY character, minor or not. Even the ones only briefly mentioned. Even the inanimate objects (as you can see).**

**The cast so far:  
Yugi Muto **as** Ralphie Parker  
**(******Millenium Puzzle **as****** the BB-Gun**)**  
Pharaoh Atem **as** Red Ryder****  
Mokuba Kaiba **as** Randy Parker  
Yugi's mom **as** Mrs. Parker  
Solomon Muto **as** Mr. Parker  
The Rare Hunters **as** the bandits  
Steve Lumis/Steve Umbra **as** Black-Eye Bart  
Ryou Bakura **as** Flick  
Marik Ishtar **as** Schwartz  
Mai Valentine **as** Ms. Shields  
Tea Gardner **as** Esther Jane  
Florence Bakura **as** Scut Farcus  
Melvin "Blishtar" **as **Grover Dill  
Little Jaden "Kuriboh" Yuki **as** Little Orphan Annie  
**(**YGO5D's **as** Ovaltine**)**  
The Devlins **as** the Bumpuses  
Duke Devlin's fangirls **as** the Bumpus hounds  
Hair Guy **as** the delivery guy  
Mullet Guy **as** a delivery guy  
**(**Black Luster Soldier **as** the lamp**)  
**Seto Kaiba **as** the tree salesman**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Duel Monsters, the movie "A Christmas Story", any of the characters/actors or script, and I also don't own Pokémon or anything else mentioned in here. I also don't own the story cover._

**R&R!**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Scene 13: OOOOHHHH FUUUUDDDDGGGGEEEE!

* * *

On the road, heading back home...

"Damn it. Blow out! Not again," Grandpa suddenly said. A tire had gone flat. He looked at his watch and said to my mother, "Four minutes! Time me."

_Actually, my old man loved it. He always saw himself in the pits at the Tokyo Speedway in the 500.  
My old man's spare tires were actually only tires in the academic sense. They were round. They had once been made of rubber._

"Yugi, why don't you go help your grandfather?" Mom suggested.

"Hell no! I don't want to. Let him do it himself."

"Yugi, you go help your old man right now!" she demanded.

"Fine..." I muttered reluctantly.

"Watch the traffic, there."

"Okay."

_It was the first time that it had been suggested that I go help my Grandpa with anything. And the first time I actually helped him._

"What are you doing here?" he asked when I came up to him.

"Mom says I should help."

"Okay, sit down here. Squat down. Yeah, that's it. Here. Hold this." He held out some metal bowl-shaped thing to me that I didn't know what it was because I don't know stuff about cars. "No, not that way. Come on, panda, hold it like this."

"How?"

"Like this. I want to put the nuts in it." He turned it so the opening was upwards. "There we are. There's four of them." He put four bolts in the thingy in my hands. He started mumbling as he worked. "And we got it..! There it is... That son of a gun... I'm gonna get that dirty... There we go..." Then he suddenly jerked his arm and hit the thing I was holding.

_For one brief moment I saw all the bolts silhouetted against the lights of the traffic. And then they were gone._

I remember it as if it was going in slow motion. "Ooooooohhhhh, [EEEEEEEEFFFFFFFFFFFF!]!"

_Only I didn't say "EFF." I said the word. The big one. The queen mother of dirty words. The "f, dash, dash, dash" word. And to make things worse, I had used a censor sound effect that was rarely used for adults, let alone kids!_*****

"What did you say?" Grandpa asked slowly. I remained silent, my face clearly showing that I knew I had screwed up. "That's what I thought you said. Get in the car. Go on." I raced back inside the car as he finished up.

_It was all over. I was dead. What would it be? The guillotine? Hanging? The chair? The rack? Watching ZEXAL? The Shadow Realm? Mere child's play compared to what surely awaited me._

"Everything go all right?" Mom asked me upon entering. She ignored me when my grandpa entered a few seconds later. "Eight minutes," she told him.

After a moment of silence, Grandpa asked her, "Do you know what your son just said?"

"No. What?"

"I'll tell you what he said." He whispered the word and the sound effect into Mom's ear.

Mokuba sat up and leaned close, trying to hear. But he sat back down when my mother cried out.

"YUGI!"

* * *

***Fun Fact! The only characters (so far) that the [EFF!] sound effect is used for, as opposed to just a bleep, are Marik (NOT Melvin) and Dartz.**

**Thanks for reading!**

******Hope you're enjoying this story, no matter the season or weather! Any time is a good time for Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series!**

**Unlike what I usually do, finish stories on my iPod and email it to myself to upload each chapter daily/weekly, I'll just do this sporadically when I feel like it and when I'm in a good mood. Which means that I have no idea where I'll start and stop or publish each one. Neither will you.  
However, I'll TRY to do it weekly.**

**If you know this movie and have watched it and/or read the transcript, you know what comes next. You also know WHO gets WHAT next *trololo face*. **

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	14. He heard it from your son!

**Here's your chapter!**

**Remember, this goes by scenes. Not scenes as in the scenes you go to in scene selection, scenes as in different events in the movie.  
Some of those little parts are short, some are long. There will be A LOT of chapters in this story.  
I suggest that you watch the movie and/or look up the transcript so you know where I'm getting all of these jokes from and can see what I've changed and kept.**

**I'll do this in little short-ish sections, based off the different major/general scenes in the movie, such as Flick getting stuck, and the lamp incident(s).  
Italics are "Ralphie" narrating. Those parts are Ralphie narrating in the movie, which I changed to fit Yugi and the abridged-verse. Everything else is just story description.  
The cast list contains EVERY character, minor or not. Even the ones only briefly mentioned. Even the inanimate objects (as you can see).**

**The cast so far:  
Yugi Muto **as** Ralphie Parker  
**(******Millenium Puzzle **as****** the BB-Gun**)**  
Pharaoh Atem **as** Red Ryder****  
Mokuba Kaiba **as** Randy Parker  
Yugi's mom **as** Mrs. Parker  
Solomon Muto **as** Mr. Parker  
The Rare Hunters **as** the bandits  
Steve Lumis/Steve Umbra **as** Black-Eye Bart  
Ryou Bakura **as** Flick  
Marik Ishtar **as** Schwartz  
Mai Valentine **as** Ms. Shields  
Tea Gardner **as** Esther Jane  
Florence Bakura **as** Scut Farcus  
Melvin "Blishtar" **as **Grover Dill  
Little Jaden "Kuriboh" Yuki **as** Little Orphan Annie  
**(**YGO5D's **as** Ovaltine**)**  
The Devlins **as** the Bumpuses  
Duke Devlin's fangirls **as** the Bumpus hounds  
Hair Guy **as** the delivery guy  
Mullet Guy **as** a delivery guy  
**(**Black Luster Soldier **as** the lamp**)  
**Seto Kaiba **as** the tree salesman**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Duel Monsters, the movie "A Christmas Story", any of the characters/actors or script, and I also don't own Pokémon or anything else mentioned in here. I also don't own the story cover._

**R&R!**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Scene 14: He heard it from your son!

* * *

Back at home, in the bathroom...

I sat there with a red bar of soap in my mouth.

_Over the years, I got to be quite a connoisseur of soap. My personal preference is for Lux, but I found Palmolive had a nice piquant, after-dinner flavor. Heady, but with just a touch of mellow smoothness. Lifebuoy, on the other hand..._

I shuddered. It was the worst one she could have chosen.

"You ready to tell me?" Mom asked. I nodded. "All right." She took the soap out of my mouth. "Where did you hear that word? And where did you get that sound effect?

_Now I had heard that word at least 10 times a day from my old man. My Grandpa worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium, second only to Duel Monsters. A master. But I chickened out, and I blurted out the first name that came to mind._

"Marik!"

She nodded slowly. "I see." She left the bathroom, putting the soap back in my mouth before she left, and went over to the phone in the hallway. She called someone... "Hello, Mr. Ishtar? Yes, I'm fine. Mr. Ishtar, do you know what Yugi just said? No. He said..." She whispered the word, and the sound effect, into the phone.

/"Oh noa! Not thayt!"/ I hear Hank Ishtar say.

"Yes, that. Do you know where he heard it?"

/"Probablee from-a Solah-mayn."/

"No! He heard it from your son!"

/"WHAT?! Are you-a crayzay! Maya son Billy sayd _thayt_?! I am-a going to give-a him tha biggest ayuss wwhhupping in the wayld! By wwhhipping him in da fayus! He wayull noyt get taht Buzz Liyaht Yeer X-Box he wanted for Chrayhstmus!"

Screams and the sound of a whip could be heard loudly though the phone. I could hear Marik almost just as clearly.

/"What'd I do, Dad?! Why?! What the frig?! I didn't do anything!"/

Mom stared at the phone like (•_•) and then hung up.

_Another shot of mysterious, official justice._

She walked back over to me and took the soap out of my mouth. "Rinse out and go to bed. Am I glad you finished your homework!" I ran to my room. "Get right into bed, and I don't want to see any lights on. You are being punished, so no playing with your cards! I'll come in, and if any lights are on... Don't you give me that look! You're gonna get it!"

_Four blocks away, Marik was getting his._

I had no regrets.

* * *

**Lols I hope you liked my attempt at writing out how I thought Hank Ishtar would sound if what he said was written out.**

**Thanks for reading!**

******Hope you're enjoying this story, no matter the season or weather! Any time is a good time for Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series!**

**Unlike what I usually do, finish stories on my iPod and email it to myself to upload each chapter daily/weekly, I'll just do this sporadically when I feel like it and when I'm in a good mood. Which means that I have no idea where I'll start and stop or publish each one. Neither will you.  
However, I'll TRY to do it weekly.**

**If you know this movie and have watched it and/or read the transcript, you know what comes next. You also know WHO gets WHAT next *trololo face*. **

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	15. A Little Bribe

**Here's your chapter! Hope you enjoyed the last one XD  
_THIS CHAPTER IS AS SHORT AS FRIG SO DON'T COMPLAIN!_ You know that some of them will be very short.**

**Remember, this goes by scenes. Not scenes as in the scenes you go to in scene selection, scenes as in different events in the movie.  
Some of those little parts are short, some are long. There will be A LOT of chapters in this story.  
I suggest that you watch the movie and/or look up the transcript so you know where I'm getting all of these jokes from and can see what I've changed and kept.**

**I'll do this in little short-ish sections, based off the different major/general scenes in the movie, such as Flick getting stuck, and the lamp incident(s).  
Italics are "Ralphie" narrating. Those parts are Ralphie narrating in the movie, which I changed to fit Yugi and the abridged-verse. Everything else is just story description.  
The cast list contains EVERY character, minor or not. Even the ones only briefly mentioned. Even the inanimate objects (as you can see).**

**The cast so far:  
Yugi Muto **as** Ralphie Parker  
**(******Millenium Puzzle **as****** the BB-Gun**)**  
Pharaoh Atem **as** Red Ryder****  
Mokuba Kaiba **as** Randy Parker  
Yugi's mom **as** Mrs. Parker  
Solomon Muto **as** Mr. Parker  
The Rare Hunters **as** the bandits  
Steve Lumis/Steve Umbra **as** Black-Eye Bart  
Ryou Bakura **as** Flick  
Marik Ishtar **as** Schwartz  
Mai Valentine **as** Ms. Shields  
Tea Gardner **as** Esther Jane  
Florence Bakura **as** Scut Farcus  
Melvin "Blishtar" **as **Grover Dill  
Little Jaden "Kuriboh" Yuki **as** Little Orphan Annie  
**(**YGO5D's **as** Ovaltine**)**  
The Devlins **as** the Bumpuses  
Duke Devlin's fangirls **as** the Bumpus hounds  
Hair Guy **as** the delivery guy  
Mullet Guy **as** a delivery guy  
**(**Black Luster Soldier **as** the lamp**)  
**Seto Kaiba **as** the tree salesman  
Hank Ishtar **as** Mrs. Schwartz**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Duel Monsters, the movie "A Christmas Story", any of the characters/actors or script, and I also don't own Pokémon or anything else mentioned in here. I also don't own the story cover._

**R&R!**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Scene 15: A Little Bribe

* * *

In class, the next day...

"Thank you, Amane," Miss Valentine said to a girl as she gave the teacher a Christmas gift.

"Merry Christmas," Amane said.

"Merry Christmas," Miss Valentine said back.

"Thank you, Ryou," she said when Bakura gave her a gift as well.

Duke, Tristan, Joey, Téa, Marik, and Espa also gave her something.

"Merry Christmas, Miss Valentine." She looked up at the sound of my voice and eyed the giant fruit basket I gave her. "I just thought that you'd be getting tired of the same old bras and panties and other lingerie."

_Yes, truly, a little bribe never hurts._

"Well, thank you very much, Yugi." I stayed where I was, smiling at her. "Merry Christmas," she said, hoping I'd get the idea. "Have a super-special-awesome New Year." I did nothing. "You can take your seat now, Yugi."

I nodded stupidly.

"Take your seat."

I continued to smile and nod stupidly as I walked backwards to my seat, the other students laughing at me.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**

******Hope you're enjoying this story, no matter the season or weather! Any time is a good time for Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series!**

**Unlike what I usually do, finish stories on my iPod and email it to myself to upload each chapter daily/weekly, I'll just do this sporadically when I feel like it and when I'm in a good mood. Which means that I have no idea where I'll start and stop or publish each one. Neither will you.  
However, I'll TRY to do it weekly.**

**If you know this movie and have watched it and/or read the transcript, you know what comes next. You also know WHO gets WHAT next *trololo face*. **

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	16. Card Games On Motorcycles

**Here's your chapter! Hope you enjoyed the last one XD**

**Remember, this goes by scenes. Not scenes as in the scenes you go to in scene selection, scenes as in different events in the movie.  
Some of those little parts are short, some are long. There will be A LOT of chapters in this story.  
I suggest that you watch the movie and/or look up the transcript so you know where I'm getting all of these jokes from and can see what I've changed and kept.**

**I'll do this in little short-ish sections, based off the different major/general scenes in the movie, such as Flick getting stuck, and the lamp incident(s).  
Italics are "Ralphie" narrating. Those parts are Ralphie narrating in the movie, which I changed to fit Yugi and the abridged-verse. Everything else is just story description.  
The cast list contains EVERY character, minor or not. Even the ones only briefly mentioned. Even the inanimate objects (as you can see).**

**The cast so far:  
Yugi Muto **as** Ralphie Parker  
**(******Millenium Puzzle **as****** the BB-Gun**)**  
Pharaoh Atem **as** Red Ryder****  
Mokuba Kaiba **as** Randy Parker  
Yugi's mom **as** Mrs. Parker  
Solomon Muto **as** Mr. Parker  
The Rare Hunters **as** the bandits  
Steve Lumis/Steve Umbra **as** Black-Eye Bart  
Ryou Bakura **as** Flick  
Marik Ishtar **as** Schwartz  
Mai Valentine **as** Ms. Shields  
Tea Gardner **as** Esther Jane  
Florence Bakura **as** Scut Farcus  
Melvin "Blishtar" **as **Grover Dill  
Little Jaden "Kuriboh" Yuki **as** Little Orphan Annie  
**(**YGO5D's **as** Ovaltine**)**  
The Devlins **as** the Bumpuses  
Duke Devlin's fangirls **as** the Bumpus hounds  
Hair Guy **as** the delivery guy  
Mullet Guy **as** a delivery guy  
**(**Black Luster Soldier **as** the lamp**)  
**Seto Kaiba **as** the tree salesman  
Hank Ishtar **as** Mrs. Schwartz**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Duel Monsters, the movie "A Christmas Story", any of the characters/actors or script, and I also don't own Pokémon or anything else mentioned in here. I also don't own the story cover._

**R&R!**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Scene 16: Card Games On Motorcycles

* * *

Coming back home that day...

_The weeks of buying YGO5Ds cards, in order to get the 5Ds inner seal to send off for my Little Jaden Kuriboh Yuki secret decoder pen, was about to pay off._

I opened the mailbox. There was a package inside.

I got it. "Master Yugi Muto," it read.

"My decoder pen! All right!"

Inside, I opened it in the living room, next to the radio.

I read it aloud"Be it known to all that Yugi Muto is hereby appointed a member of the Little Jaden Kuriboh Yuki secret circle and is entitled to all the honors and benefits occurring thereto."

_Signed, Little Jaden Kuriboh._  
_Countersigned, Yusei Fudo!_  
_In ink!_

_Honors and benefits. Already at the age of sixteen._

_Come on. Let's get on with it._

I waited for the radio to get to the thingy I wanted. _I don't need all that jazz about Rare Hunters and Zorc._

["Listen tomorrow night for the concluding adventure of The Black Duel Disk. Now it's time for Jaden's secret message for you members of the secret circle. Remember, kids, only members of Jaden's secret circle can decode Jaden's secret message. Remember, Jaden is depending on you. Set your pins to B-2. Here is the message. 12. 11. 2..."]

_I am in my first secret meeting._

["...25. 14. 11. 18. 16. 23..."]

_Yusei was in great voice tonight. I could tell that tonight's message was really important._

["...3. 25. That's a message from Jaden himself. Remember, don't tell anyone."]

_Ninety seconds later I'm in the only room in the house where a boy of sixteen can sit in privacy and decode._

I started to decode the message.

_Ah! "C." I went to the next. "A." "R." It was coming easier now. "D." The first word was card!_

Mokuba started shouting at me through the door. "Come on, Yugi! I gotta go."

"I'll be right down!" I called back.

_Gee whiz._

_"G. A. M. E. S." "Card games." What card game? What was Little Jaden Kuriboh trying to say? What card game?!_

"Yugi!" my mother shouted. "Mokuba has got to go! Will you please come out?"

"All right, Ma! I'll be right out!"

You'd think that we would have more than one bathroom in our two-story house. But no, we don't.

_I was getting closer now. The tension was terrible. What was it? The fate of the planet may hang in the balance yet again! And it wouldn't be the first time a card game was responsible._

"Yugi! Mokuba's gotta go!"

"I'll be right out, for crying out loud!"

_Almost there! My fingers flew. My mind was a steel trap. Every pore vibrated. It was almost clear._

_Yes!_

I read it out loud.

"Card games on motorcycles."

"Motorcycles? A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch!"

_With a disappointed sigh, I gathered up my Jaden Kuriboh crap and I went out to face the world again. Wiser._

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**

******Hope you're enjoying this story, no matter the season or weather! Any time is a good time for Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series!**

**Unlike what I usually do, finish stories on my iPod and email it to myself to upload each chapter daily/weekly, I'll just do this sporadically when I feel like it and when I'm in a good mood. Which means that I have no idea where I'll start and stop or publish each one. Neither will you.  
However, I'll TRY to do it weekly.**

**If you know this movie and have watched it and/or read the transcript, you know what comes next. You also know WHO gets WHAT next *trololo face*. **

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	17. You used up all the glue,,,

**The chapter title is in two parts. The title the chapter is listed as is the first part. The Scene title, in this chapter, is the second part. It's a sentence. You can figure it out :)  
I don't think I gave this chapter my all, but it's testing time this June so I have an excuse.**

**Remember, this goes by scenes. Not scenes as in the scenes you go to in scene selection, scenes as in different events in the movie.  
Some of those little parts are short, some are long. There will be A LOT of chapters in this story.  
I suggest that you watch the movie and/or look up the transcript so you know where I'm getting all of these jokes from and can see what I've changed and kept.**

**I'll do this in little short-ish sections, based off the different major/general scenes in the movie, such as Flick getting stuck, and the lamp incident(s).  
Italics are "Ralphie" narrating. Those parts are Ralphie narrating in the movie, which I changed to fit Yugi and the abridged-verse. Everything else is just story description.  
The cast list contains EVERY character, minor or not. Even the ones only briefly mentioned. Even the inanimate objects (as you can see).**

**The cast so far:  
Yugi Muto **as** Ralphie Parker  
**(******Millenium Puzzle **as****** the BB-Gun**)**  
Pharaoh Atem **as** Red Ryder****  
Mokuba Kaiba **as** Randy Parker  
Yugi's mom **as** Mrs. Parker  
Solomon Muto **as** Mr. Parker  
The Rare Hunters **as** the bandits  
Steve Lumis/Steve Umbra **as** Black-Eye Bart  
Ryou Bakura **as** Flick  
Marik Ishtar **as** Schwartz  
Mai Valentine **as** Ms. Shields  
Tea Gardner **as** Esther Jane  
Florence Bakura **as** Scut Farcus  
Melvin "Blishtar" **as **Grover Dill  
Little Jaden "Kuriboh" Yuki **as** Little Orphan Annie  
**(**YGO5D's **as** Ovaltine**)**  
The Devlins **as** the Bumpuses  
Duke Devlin's fangirls **as** the Bumpus hounds  
Hair Guy **as** the delivery guy  
Mullet Guy **as** a delivery guy  
**(**Black Luster Soldier **as** the lamp**)  
**Seto Kaiba **as** the tree salesman  
Hank Ishtar **as** Mrs. Schwartz**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Duel Monsters, the movie "A Christmas Story", any of the characters/actors or script, and I also don't own Pokémon or anything else mentioned in here. I also don't own the story cover._

**R&R!**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Scene 17: ...on PURPOSE!

* * *

Later that evening...

"You filthy system! I hate it! Schmucker! Smelly watt-buster!" My grandpa was in the basement, messing with something again.

_What happened next was a family controversy for years._

My mother walked to the living room with her watering can. A few seconds later, we heard a crash.

Grandpa emerged from the basement. "What was that? What happened? What happened? What broke?"

No one answered.

He ran into the living room, were the source of the crash was. He was shocked to find Mom cradling several pieces of the now-broken Black Luster Soldier Lamp.

She looked up and apologized sadly with her eyes. "I don't know what happened."

Grandpa's jaw dropped.

"I was watering my plant and... I broke your lamp."

"Don't you touch that!" He snatched the pieces away from her. "You were always jealous of this lamp."

"Jealous of a plastic Duel Monster?"

"Jealous! Jealous because I won."

"That's ridiculous! Jealous? Jealous of what? That is..." Did she dare say it? Did she dare say what everyone had been wanting to say since the day it arrived? "...the ugliest lamp I have ever seen in my entire life!" She had done it.

_Now it was out._

"Get the glue," Grandpa rasped.

"We're out of glue," Mom replied in a venemous tone.

"You used up all the glue...on _purpose_!" He placed the broken pieces down and began to walk out of the room.

_The old man stood quivering with fury stammering as he tried to come up with a real crusher. __All he got out was:_

"Not a finger!"

_With as much dignity as he could muster, the old man gathered up the sad remains of his shattered major award._

He tried to glue it back together using glue from his toolbox. It almost worked. But when he tried to put the top on, it fell apart again. He just gave up after that.

_Later that night, alone in the backyard he buried it next to the garage. Now I could never be sure but I thought that I heard the sound of a song from the Yu-Gi-Oh soundtrack being played gently._

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**

******Hope you're enjoying this story, no matter the season or weather! Any time is a good time for Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series!**

**Unlike what I usually do, finish stories on my iPod and email it to myself to upload each chapter daily/weekly, I'll just do this sporadically when I feel like it and when I'm in a good mood. Which means that I have no idea where I'll start and stop or publish each one. Neither will you.  
However, I'll TRY to do it weekly.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	18. Abandoning Bakura Again

**And we're back after a long while! Hope you haven't been TOO impatient (^_^)**

**Remember, this goes by scenes. Not scenes as in the scenes you go to in scene selection, scenes as in different events in the movie.  
Some of those little parts are short, some are long. There will be A LOT of chapters in this story.  
I suggest that you watch the movie and/or look up the transcript so you know where I'm getting all of these jokes from and can see what I've changed and kept.**

**I'll do this in little short-ish sections, based off the different major/general scenes in the movie, such as Flick getting stuck, and the lamp incident(s).  
Italics are "Ralphie" narrating. Those parts are Ralphie narrating in the movie, which I changed to fit Yugi and the abridged-verse. Everything else is just story description.  
The cast list contains EVERY character, minor or not. Even the ones only briefly mentioned. Even the inanimate objects (as you can see).**

**The cast so far:  
Yugi Muto **as** Ralphie Parker  
**(******Millenium Puzzle **as****** the BB-Gun**)**  
Pharaoh Atem **as** Red Ryder****  
Mokuba Kaiba **as** Randy Parker  
Yugi's mom **as** Mrs. Parker  
Solomon Muto **as** Mr. Parker  
The Rare Hunters **as** the bandits  
Steve Lumis/Steve Umbra **as** Black-Eye Bart  
Ryou Bakura **as** Flick  
Marik Ishtar **as** Schwartz  
Mai Valentine **as** Ms. Shields  
Tea Gardner **as** Esther Jane  
Florence Bakura **as** Scut Farcus  
Melvin "Blishtar" **as **Grover Dill  
Little Jaden "Kuriboh" Yuki **as** Little Orphan Annie  
**(**YGO5D's **as** Ovaltine**)**  
The Devlins **as** the Bumpuses  
Duke Devlin's fangirls **as** the Bumpus hounds  
Hair Guy **as** the delivery guy  
Mullet Guy **as** a delivery guy  
**(**Black Luster Soldier **as** the lamp**)  
**Seto Kaiba **as** the tree salesman  
Hank Ishtar **as** Mrs. Schwartz**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Duel Monsters, the movie "A Christmas Story", any of the characters/actors or script, and I also don't own Pokémon or anything else mentioned in here. I also don't own the story cover._

**R&R!**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Scene 18: Abandoning Bakura Again

* * *

Walking to school again that Monday...

Marik, Bakura, and I were walking across the snowy field to the school. We were almost there, but had slowed down to talk more.

"Know what I'm getting my old man for Christmas?" Marik asked us.

"What?" I asked.

"A snake that shoots fake venom."

Bakura and I gave him strange looks.

"Its a fake snake that you wear around your shoulders. People come to look at it, it squirts shoots this liquid that looks like venom but all it really does is ruin your clothes and stain them really bad. Hopefully it'll make him not be so hard on me about his dead snake this year."

"I doubt it," I said.

"I'm getting my mummy a Flit gun," Bakura told us.

"A Flit gun?"

"Stop right there!"

We froze in our tracks. We slowly turned around. It was Melvin.

_Ordinarily, if Melvin so much as said "hi" to you, you felt great warm inside. But mostly he just hit you in the mouth._

"I-I-I can't now, M-m-melvin," Marik stammered. "I've gotta go s-s-see Miss Valentine."

Marik ran for his life into the saftey of the building that Melvin and Florence didn't attend school in.

"Hey!" Melvin shouted after him. Marik didn't come back. "Come here! Get over here!"

Florence walked up behind Melvin. He eyed me and Bakura.

"Come on, you!" Florence pointed at me. "Hey, come here!" I shook my head and ran for my life as well.

Bakura spun around and watched us leave. His jaw dropped. It was like the pole thing all over again.

The yamis gave up on Marik and I, and focussed on Bakura. "You!" Florence said sharply. He pointed at Bakura, who whipped around to face him. "Come here!"

"W-w-who, me?" Bakura asked fearfully.

"No, your Aunt Tilly," Florence said sarcastically. "Yeah, you! Get over here!"

_We had left Bakura to certain annihilation. Marik had already gotten his butt whipped yesterday, so he had an excuse to run from another beating. I, however, had no excuse like that. Except for one: Millenium Item mania knows no loyalties._

Bakura sighed and walked obediently over to his yami. He held out his arm.

Florence smirked and grabbed Bakura's arm. With Melvin holding the hikari in place, Florence twisted his arm a bit.

"Uncle! Uncle!"

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**

******Hope you're enjoying this story, no matter the season or weather! Any time is a good time for Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series!**

**Unlike what I usually do, finish stories on my iPod and email it to myself to upload each chapter daily/weekly, I'll just do this sporadically when I feel like it and when I'm in a good mood. Which means that I have no idea where I'll start and stop or publish each one. Neither will you.  
However, I'll TRY to do it weekly.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	19. A C-plus?

**This is going to be one of those short ones, but not as short as "Wouldn't want to waste electricity".**

**Remember, this goes by scenes. Not scenes as in the scenes you go to in scene selection, scenes as in different events in the movie.  
Some of those little parts are short, some are long. There will be A LOT of chapters in this story.  
I suggest that you watch the movie and/or look up the transcript so you know where I'm getting all of these jokes from and can see what I've changed and kept.**

**I'll do this in little short-ish sections, based off the different major/general scenes in the movie, such as Flick getting stuck, and the lamp incident(s).  
Italics are "Ralphie" narrating. Those parts are Ralphie narrating in the movie, which I changed to fit Yugi and the abridged-verse. Everything else is just story description.  
The cast list contains EVERY character, minor or not. Even the ones only briefly mentioned. Even the inanimate objects (as you can see).**

**The cast so far:  
Yugi Muto **as** Ralphie Parker  
**(******Millenium Puzzle **as****** the BB-Gun**)**  
Pharaoh Atem **as** Red Ryder****  
Mokuba Kaiba **as** Randy Parker  
Yugi's mom **as** Mrs. Parker  
Solomon Muto **as** Mr. Parker  
The Rare Hunters **as** the bandits  
Steve Lumis/Steve Umbra **as** Black-Eye Bart  
Ryou Bakura **as** Flick  
Marik Ishtar **as** Schwartz  
Mai Valentine **as** Ms. Shields  
Tea Gardner **as** Esther Jane  
Florence Bakura **as** Scut Farcus  
Melvin "Blishtar" **as **Grover Dill  
Little Jaden "Kuriboh" Yuki **as** Little Orphan Annie  
**(**YGO5D's **as** Ovaltine**)**  
The Devlins **as** the Bumpuses  
Duke Devlin's fangirls **as** the Bumpus hounds  
Hair Guy **as** the delivery guy  
Mullet Guy **as** a delivery guy  
**(**Black Luster Soldier **as** the lamp**)  
**Seto Kaiba **as** the tree salesman  
Hank Ishtar **as** Mrs. Schwartz**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Duel Monsters, the movie "A Christmas Story", any of the characters/actors or script, and I also don't own Pokémon or anything else mentioned in here. I also don't own the story cover._

**R&R!**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Scene 19: C+?!

* * *

In the classroom...

Bakura walked in several minutes after we had with a sore arm, a black eye, and a deep frown. He didn't even look at me or Marik.

"All right, class. I have your Christmas themes for you. I'm pleased," Miss Valentine said as she handed back our papers. "In general, you did very well. However, I was disappointed in the margins."

_This is it._

She placed my graded paper down in front of me. I looked at the red mark at the top.

It was...

"C+"? _No, it can't be._

_C+?_

_C+!_

_Oh, no!_

And written at the bottom of the first page, in red, were the words I had come to dread:

"You'll bring back the Shadow Games"?

_My mother must have gotten to Miss Valentine! There could be no other explanation._

In my mind, the two of them taunted me, Miss Valentine dressed as a witch and my mother dressed as Saji the Dark Clown.

"You'll bring back the Shadow Games. You'll bring back the Shadow Games," they cackled. I shook my head disbelievingly.

_Was there no end to this conspiracy of irrational prejudice against Pharaoh Atem and his peacemaker?_

After she had finished handing out the papers, Miss Valentine walked to the front of the room and picked up a piece of chalk.

"These multiplication questions were most missed in our last math test." She wrote out a math problem on the board, but no effing way it was more important or worse than my own problems. "Would you answer in unison, please?"

_I was surrounded by happier kids who were all going to get what they wanted for Christmas._

I folded my arms on my desk and hid my head in them.

"...fifty-six."

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**

**Crazy stuff happens next chapter between Yugi and Florence. For those of you who haven't seen the movie, I'll let you guess what that crazy stuff is ;)  
Also, that chapter will be longer than usual.**

******Hope you're enjoying this story, no matter the season or weather! Any time is a good time for Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series!**

**Unlike what I usually do, finish stories on my iPod and email it to myself to upload each chapter daily/weekly, I'll just do this sporadically when I feel like it and when I'm in a good mood. Which means that I have no idea where I'll start and stop or publish each one. Neither will you.  
However, I'll TRY to do it weekly.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	20. The Breaking Point

**The title of this chapter, unlike the others, isn't a quote from the chapter itself. I couldn't find a good line from the chapter, so I made up my own title instead.  
I hope I edited everything okay... I might have missed something but whatever.**

**Remember, this goes by scenes. Not scenes as in the scenes you go to in scene selection, scenes as in different events in the movie.  
Some of those little parts are short, some are long. There will be A LOT of chapters in this story.  
I suggest that you watch the movie and/or look up the transcript so you know where I'm getting all of these jokes from and can see what I've changed and kept.**

**I'll do this in little short-ish sections, based off the different major/general scenes in the movie, such as Flick getting stuck, and the lamp incident(s).  
Italics are "Ralphie" narrating. Those parts are Ralphie narrating in the movie, which I changed to fit Yugi and the abridged-verse. Everything else is just story description.  
The cast list contains EVERY character, minor or not. Even the ones only briefly mentioned. Even the inanimate objects (as you can see).**

**The cast so far:  
Yugi Muto **as** Ralphie Parker  
**(******Millenium Puzzle **as****** the BB-Gun**)**  
Pharaoh Atem **as** Red Ryder****  
Mokuba Kaiba **as** Randy Parker  
Yugi's mom **as** Mrs. Parker  
Solomon Muto **as** Mr. Parker  
The Rare Hunters **as** the bandits  
Steve Lumis/Steve Umbra **as** Black-Eye Bart  
Ryou Bakura **as** Flick  
Marik Ishtar **as** Schwartz  
Mai Valentine **as** Ms. Shields  
Tea Gardner **as** Esther Jane  
Florence Bakura **as** Scut Farcus  
Melvin "Blishtar" **as **Grover Dill  
Little Jaden "Kuriboh" Yuki **as** Little Orphan Annie  
**(**YGO5D's **as** Ovaltine**)**  
The Devlins **as** the Bumpuses  
Duke Devlin's fangirls **as** the Bumpus hounds  
Hair Guy **as** the delivery guy  
Mullet Guy **as** a delivery guy  
**(**Black Luster Soldier **as** the lamp**)  
**Seto Kaiba **as** the tree salesman  
Hank Ishtar **as** Mrs. Schwartz**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Duel Monsters, the movie "A Christmas Story", any of the characters/actors or script, and I also don't own Pokémon or anything else mentioned in here. I also don't own the story cover._

**R&R!**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Scene 20: The Breaking Point

* * *

Walking back home...

Depressed, I decided not to wait for Marik or Bakura. I went ahead and took a different route home. Like some kind of delinquent, I passed through a hole in the fence.

Halfway through the small fenced-in area, a snowball hit the back of my head and totally melted in my hair.

I turned around and groaned when I saw Florence leaning against the fence I had walked through. He had a snowball in his hand.

"Hey, midget! How'd you like your snowball sandwich?"

I did _not_ need to deal with a yami right now. I was too pissed off.

"Maybe you'd like another one!" He threw the snowball at me. Again, it hit my hair and melted completely. My hair would be totally ruined in a few hours once the water dried.

He took a few steps closer to me. "Listen, shrimp. Tormenting Ryou gets boring after a while. I need victims _in addition_ to him. When I tell you to come, you better come!"

I did _not_ want to deal with a yami just then. I was too upset. I could only handle so much abuse. I don't know how Bakura did it.

My eyes widened and teared up. My lip trembled slightly.

"What? Are you going to cry now?" Florence asked tauntingly.

My hands clenched into fists. They, too, started trembling.

I should _not_ have to deal with another yami. But it seemed like I _would_ have to.

I took off my gloves and tossed them away.

"Come on, cry baby, cry for me. Come on. Cry!"

_Deep in the recesses of my brain a tiny red-hot little flame began to grow. Something had happened. A fuse blew. The light inside my soul that made me a hikari burst out of me._

That light materialized in my hand and I shot it at Florence. It knocked him down. He fell in the snow. Now _his_ hair was wet!

Before he could get back to his feet, I ran over to him and pounced on him. I started punching and hitting him.

His eyes widened and he tried to push me off. But in my anger, I wouldn't give up and I kept hitting him and scratching him and stuff.

In my anger, I hadn't noticed Melvin with Florence.

Melvin walked over to me and tapped my shoulder, trying to get my attention. "Hey! Midget."

I broke away from Florence for an instant to shoot another ball of light, this time at Melvin. Then I immediately went back to beating the crap out of Florence.

Like Florence had been, Melvin was knocked back into the snow. He recovered quickly and ran away, shouting at me, "I'm telling my dad!"

A crowd of my classmates started forming around the fenced-in area.

Marik and Bakura were there, too. Either they had caught up with me or had learned about the fight through their yamis.

"Hey, Yugi!" Marik shouted.

"Beat him up! Beat him up!" Bakura cried.

"Did you hear what he said?" one girl whispered to another.

_I have since heard of people under extreme duress speaking in strange tongues. I became conscious that a steady torrent of obscenities and swearing of all kinds was pouring out of me as I screamed._

I was unaware that Mokuba was entering the small enclosed area with my mother in tow.

She ran over to me and tried to separate me from Florence.

"Yugi! Stop!" She grabbed my shoulders and tried to pull me away from Florence. I broke free and kept on attacking him. "Stop doing this it's over let it go already!" She grabbed my shoulders again.

I paid her no mind. The only thing I cared about was the evil limey kitty I was trying to beat up.

"Yugi!" She used all of her strength and pulled me away from Florence. This time, she wrapped her arms around me so I couldn't go back to him. She moved me a few feet away from him.

Once I was away from him, a little bit of my anger faded. I stopped struggling. She turned me around so we were facing each other.

When I looked into her worried and caring expression, the rest of my anger faded away. The light calmed down.

I finally burst into tears.

She pulled me into a warm and comforting hug, despite the winter cold.

"We're going home. Come on." She picked me up and started carrying me home.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**

******Hope you're enjoying this story, no matter the season or weather! Any time is a good time for Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series!**

**Unlike what I usually do, finish stories on my iPod and email it to myself to upload each chapter daily/weekly, I'll just do this sporadically when I feel like it and when I'm in a good mood. Which means that I have no idea where I'll start and stop or publish each one. Neither will you.  
However, I'll TRY to do it weekly.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	21. Grandpa's gonna duel Yugi!

**Another short one.**

**Remember, this goes by scenes. Not scenes as in the scenes you go to in scene selection, scenes as in different events in the movie.  
Some of those little parts are short, some are long. There will be A LOT of chapters in this story.  
I suggest that you watch the movie and/or look up the transcript so you know where I'm getting all of these jokes from and can see what I've changed and kept.**

**I'll do this in little short-ish sections, based off the different major/general scenes in the movie, such as Flick getting stuck, and the lamp incident(s).  
Italics are "Ralphie" narrating. Those parts are Ralphie narrating in the movie, which I changed to fit Yugi and the abridged-verse. Everything else is just story description.  
The cast list contains EVERY character, minor or not. Even the ones only briefly mentioned. Even the inanimate objects (as you can see).**

**The cast so far:  
Yugi Muto **as** Ralphie Parker  
**(******Millenium Puzzle **as****** the BB-Gun**)**  
Pharaoh Atem **as** Red Ryder****  
Mokuba Kaiba **as** Randy Parker  
Yugi's mom **as** Mrs. Parker  
Solomon Muto **as** Mr. Parker  
The Rare Hunters **as** the bandits  
Steve Lumis/Steve Umbra **as** Black-Eye Bart  
Ryou Bakura **as** Flick  
Marik Ishtar **as** Schwartz  
Mai Valentine **as** Ms. Shields  
Tea Gardner **as** Esther Jane  
Florence Bakura **as** Scut Farcus  
Melvin "Blishtar" **as **Grover Dill  
Little Jaden "Kuriboh" Yuki **as** Little Orphan Annie  
**(**YGO5D's **as** Ovaltine**)**  
The Devlins **as** the Bumpuses  
Duke Devlin's fangirls **as** the Bumpus hounds  
Hair Guy **as** the delivery guy  
Mullet Guy **as** a delivery guy  
**(**Black Luster Soldier **as** the lamp**)  
**Seto Kaiba **as** the tree salesman  
Hank Ishtar **as** Mrs. Schwartz**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Duel Monsters, the movie "A Christmas Story", any of the characters/actors or script, and I also don't own Pokémon or anything else mentioned in here. I also don't own the story cover._

**R&R!**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Scene 21: Grandpa's gonna duel Yugi!

* * *

Back at home...

"Calm down. Come on in here, Yug." We entered the upstairs bathroom. "Put your head down in here. Come on, get down in here." She coaxed my head down into the sink and washed my burning forehead with cold water. Then she wrung out the melted snow from my hair. "Settle down. I want you to go in there and lie down in your room for a while. Yugi, just settle down. Here, dry off." She handed me a towel. "All right, calm down. All right. Now go lie down."

I left the bathroom and headed for my room to lie down. Just before I laid down, I looked out the window.

_The light was getting purple and soft outside. Almost time for my grandfather to come home from work._

* * *

My mother walked into the kitchen. She heard a noise coming from the cabinet behind the table.

She knelt down and opened one of the doors.

There sat Mokuba, huddled in the dark and crying.

"What's the matter?" Mom asked him. "What are you crying for?"

After a sniffle or two, he replied, "Grandpa's going to duel Yugi."

"No, he's not."

"He is, too."

"No, he's not. I promise you Grandpa is not going to duel Yugi. Why don't you come on out of there?" Mokuba shook his head. "Would you like some milk?" He nodded. "You would?" He nodded again.

She stood up and went to get him a glass of milk. She held it out to him. "Here you go." He tentatively took the glass. "All right? I'll see you later?" He nodded once more. "Okay. Bye."

She closed the cabinet door again and went about her business.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**

**Wait a minute...how does Yugi know what's going on downstairs if he's upstairs resting? (O.O) LOLZ PLOT HOLE XD. but remember this is based off of the movie transcript.**

******Hope you're enjoying this story, no matter the season or weather! Any time is a good time for Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series!**

**Unlike what I usually do, finish stories on my iPod and email it to myself to upload each chapter daily/weekly, I'll just do this sporadically when I feel like it and when I'm in a good mood. Which means that I have no idea where I'll start and stop or publish each one. Neither will you.  
However, I'll TRY to do it weekly.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	22. The Florence Bakura Affair

**Uh oh...we're reaching that point where I don't have future chapters written out...  
That's okay. This doesn't do periodic updates anyway ^_^**

**A chunk of the original script was taken out of this chapter, due to it being about Ralphie's glasses, and Yugi doesn't have glasses.**

**Remember, this goes by scenes. Not scenes as in the scenes you go to in scene selection, scenes as in different events in the movie.  
Some of those little parts are short, some are long. There will be A LOT of chapters in this story.  
I suggest that you watch the movie and/or look up the transcript so you know where I'm getting all of these jokes from and can see what I've changed and kept.**

**Italics are "Ralphie" narrating. Those parts are Ralphie narrating in the movie, which I changed to fit Yugi and the abridged-verse. Everything else is just story description.  
The cast list contains EVERY character, minor or not. Even the ones only briefly mentioned. Even the inanimate objects (as you can see).**

**The cast so far:  
Yugi Muto **as** Ralphie Parker  
**(******Millenium Puzzle **as****** the BB-Gun**)**  
Pharaoh Atem **as** Red Ryder****  
Mokuba Kaiba **as** Randy Parker  
Yugi's mom **as** Mrs. Parker  
Solomon Muto **as** Mr. Parker  
The Rare Hunters **as** the bandits  
Steve Lumis/Steve Umbra **as** Black-Eye Bart  
Ryou Bakura **as** Flick  
Marik Ishtar **as** Schwartz  
Mai Valentine **as** Ms. Shields  
Tea Gardner **as** Esther Jane  
Florence Bakura **as** Scut Farcus  
Melvin "Blishtar" **as **Grover Dill  
Little Jaden "Kuriboh" Yuki **as** Little Orphan Annie  
**(**YGO5D's **as** Ovaltine**)**  
The Devlins **as** the Bumpuses  
Duke Devlin's fangirls **as** the Bumpus hounds  
Hair Guy **as** the delivery guy  
Mullet Guy **as** a delivery guy  
**(**Black Luster Soldier **as** the lamp**)  
**Seto Kaiba **as** the tree salesman  
Hank Ishtar **as** Mrs. Schwartz**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Duel Monsters, the movie "A Christmas Story", any of the characters/actors or script, and I also don't own Pokémon or anything else mentioned in here. I also don't own the story cover._

**R&R!**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Scene 22: "The Florence Bakura Affair"

* * *

Later that night...

_I heard the car roar up the driveway, and a wave of terror broke over me. He'll know what I said, the awful things that I said._

"Get out of here! Go on home, you mangy females! Get out of here, you rotten, filthy... Hey, Devlin! Get over here and get your stinking fangirls!"

He entered the house, without letting any fangirls in.

"Hey, come on, what's for dinner? I'm starving to death."

* * *

At dinner...

"Well, what happened today?" Grandpa asked.

"Nothing much," Mom replied. After a moment, she added, "Yugi had a fight."

"A fight?" Grandpa repeated. "What kind of a fight?"

"You know how...yamis and hikaris...and other boys are," Mom said casually. "I gave him a talking to."

Grandpa eyed me suspiciously.

"I see that the Tigers are playing Orange Dock***** on Sunday," Grandpa said, looking away from me and at his food.

"Oh, yeah?" my mother said, uninterested.

"Nosaka's got tickets. I wish I had."

"He'll freeze his butt off out there."

_I slowly began to realize I was not about to be dueled into total submission by the old man who taught me everything I knew about dueling._

"The Oswego Tigers******," Grandpa said, "The terror of the...something. I'm too old to remember what they're called the terror of."

_From then on, things were different between me and my mother._

"More like the Oswego Kittens, maybe," my mother said, pretending to be interested. "But Tigers, never."

Strange.

_Even something as monumental as "The Florence Bakura Affair", as it came to be known, was pushed out of my mind as I struggled for a way out of the impenetrable Millenium Item web in which my mother had me trapped._

Just then, I got an idea...

_Santa! Yeah, I'll ask Santa. Of course! Santa. The big man. The head honcho. The connection. My mother had slipped up this time._

* * *

***Originally "Green Bay", a team in...I don't know. I'm not a sports person. I wanted to change it up so it wouldn't be EXACTLY like the movie.  
******Originally the "Chicago Bears". Oswego is a place in upstate New York. I've never been there, but my friend has.  
****(also, if you even care, "Nosaka" was originally "Zuddock)**

**Thanks for reading!**

******Hope you're enjoying this story, no matter the season or weather! Any time is a good time for Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series!**

**Unlike what I usually do, finish stories on my iPod and email it to myself to upload each chapter daily/weekly, I'll just update whenever I feel like it. Which means that I have no idea when I'll update next. Neither will you.  
However, I TRY to do it weekly.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


End file.
